#19 - What Drains You From Energy

Many 'life change' courses focus only on the positive aspect of life, to avoid pain and unpleasant sensations at any cost. If we like it or not, negativity and discomfort are also part of life. Things happen. But what we can do is to create distance, space and change attitude, how we will react towards it.

The previous week we created a joy every day do list. This week we are going to create not a to-do list. We are going to focus on those activities which drain us of energy. Overdoing some joyful activities may also harm us, as we might not provide enough rest or don't have time for other daily essentials. Everything has to find its place in a balanced life.

Check last week's list and ask yourself.

• Is there any activity that may bring harm to my life or other people's lives, maybe to the environment? (Especially in a long term)

• If so how can I decrease this effect?

• How to find a healthy way of doing things?

Most likely many of you have chosen very positive and healthy activities, but it's good to always make sure we do our best - every day.

In case if you have chosen activities that give temporary satisfaction but might be destructive in long term, you always have to make sure to love your body, and always respect a healthy attitude. Balance, balance, and balance whatever it is.

There are always healthy substitute activities for those of a destructive or time-wasting which might not lead to anything in the future and leave you with a quarter of a penny.

This week is going to change a lot in your life, even if we are not going to change any habits. We should start by building self-consciousness and that has to become our goal.

Did you know that a human being has approximately 60,000 thoughts per day, and 90% of these are repetitive!?

If you have recognized some of the destructive habits already, start doing them consciously. For example, if you are a heavy smoker, each time when you get the temptation, turn an observer mode on throughout the whole process: picking up a pack from your pocket, sliding cigarette off, lighting it up, first deep slow inhale. It's like when you are watching a movie, the camera operator shows events from the main character's perspective. There is a sound of a heartbeat, and your screen sort of becomes the main character's eyesight. Or if you haven't seen such a movie before, then maybe you have experienced this artificial consciousness in PC games or VR but in real life. Be conscious of every move or impulse you get.

Observe how your body feels and reacts:

• What are and what were your thoughts?

• Why there were so?

• Why did you have this temptation in the first place?

• Where was the first time you did it?

• What was the core and emotions behind it?

• Do you see some patterns which occur?

• What are the potential long-term effects of this habit?

• Do you really want it?

This exercise also teaches you to engage in only one activity at the same time, so you can make it done better.

This week focuses on the "Active Observation exercise". Do this practice for at least seven full days. Write down observations. Our goal is to locate all those daily things which drain energy from us. Whenever you will feel mentally and emotionally fatigued let it be your reminder. We get up to reach for distractions, so it might be very difficult to stay conscious for 7 more consecutive days. Set up the repetitive reminders on your phone "Observe", or you can set up wallpaper and lock screen, stick notes in your car, fridge, everywhere just to stay aware.

Write down all your observations each evening. Review your whole day and find those moments after which you feel deprived of energy, and felt negative.

As a progression based on habits - create a NOT TO DO LIST.

"Not to do" things that are destructive for you. To recognize negative habits is the first action, then to unlearn and most importantly take it off, so you won't have temptation any more is the second. It requires the development of self-discipline (many exercises in this course are to build up self-discipline).

One of the mind tricks is to start small and say I am not going to do it for X amount of days which will create some discomfort of not doing it, but not too much, so you won't feel too stressed. It can be also about imitating quantity, for example, instead of 20 cigarettes a day, 19 cigarettes a day in the first week. It requires consciousness and proper tracking. Repeat process long enough. This approach is smart and effective. Instead of having this terrible feeling of failure, you will take things easy, and understand that learning and unlearn something takes time and a repetitive process.

You can also include other things like:

• Things considered as a distraction from staying focused and productive;

• Other people's responsibilities - in a negative light, some people want to use us with bad intentions;

• Tasks that have low impact and value;

• Things that don't need to be done;

And other things you want to eliminate and make more space for love and free time.

As opposed to the last week, here we will do a DON'T DO list. We do know that everything has 2 sides - negative and positive. On our way to becoming better each day, we should understand that it's difficult to quit doing bad habits at once. Instead of being harsh on ourselves, we have a kinder approach.

Let's give more love and less judgment. The idea of the NOT TO DO list is to find and observe the negative habits we have, as in saying "we should locate the core of the problem to resolve it" and only then we could have a solution.

Doing the exercise every day will make the change since you know where your energy is leaking. You can purposely change it!

You can't imagine how journaling helps with tidying up the mind so you are more conscious. It's like removing a pile of pizza boxes from a windowsill to see the sunshine and get fresh air from outside.